Excerpt from 'An Artist's Manifesto'
Find Your Stairway
Written 13 November 2024
This year has been about many things for me, discovering my gender, my identity, what I believe in, and becoming so much more curious and attentive than I've ever been.
This curiosity has led me down many paths, both in mind and physically. Travelling down weird alleyways, entering abandoned buildings, when there's no rain I might go check out a storm drain or two. I'd not recommend this hobby to everyone, it is indeed a dangerous thing to do. Done safely however, and with curiosity and discovery in mind over the idea of "notoriety" or whatever, it came be a fulfilling and rewarding hobby. I've learnt more about myself by spending hours walking around a half collapsed nursing home than I have in my many years as a human on this earth. Recently I've been looking around my local area for weird nooks and crannies I can sit and relax in, and there's this one that's become quite a favourite of mine. I've taken to calling it the "lesbian staircase" (or 'Leswell', a portmanteau of "lesbian" and "stairwell", that one of my friends came up with), and I've been spending a lot of time there recently. I'm writing this very section of this manifesto on this staircase. It's on the roof of a carpark, and leads to a locked door. Now I call it the lesbian staircase because there's a lot of graff and writing on the walls and door about girls kissing girls and I think that's super cool cuz like, I'm a girl, I kiss girls, this is my kinda place.
Recently I've been coming here in the afternoons and night to relax, listen to loud music, and reflect upon my life and days and whatnot. I've written a few things here, a dnd session, meaningful messages, I've thought thoughts about my life and my purpose, and I've discovered a lot about myself here. It feels like a safe place I can return to again and again. I've added my own writings to the walls here, of course, but I won't tell you about them here, because this is my place. The other souls who call this staircase home can read it, it's for me, it's for us.
I might not call this place my main solo hangout spot forever, but for now, this is my place to relax away from the world. It's my place to think, to ponder, to exist. Yeah I'd recommend it. Go out, keep an eye out. Find a spot where you feel safe and comfortable. Go there to think. Too many distractions at home for me, if I try and write about life the universe and everything in my room, I'll inevitably open steam and forget about these things. At my staircase, it's me, my music, and my thoughts. It wasn't built to be, but it's my space.